Call me Mr J - Harleen Quinzel and Joker One-shot
by sweetdreams448
Summary: The first encounter between Dr. Harleen Quinzel and the patient that will change her entire world. In honor of the new Suicide Squad movie, might be inspired to turn this into a story depending on response ;)


"Call me Mr. J"

"Dr. Quinzel".

Harleen Quinzel looked up from the magazine she had been reading and walked over to the person who had spoken, eagerly shaking their hand. "I'm very pleased to meet you Dr. Arkham, I just wanted to thank you again for this amazing opportunity."

Jeremiah Arkham sighed and motioned to her, "Come into my office.

Once she was seated in a chair in front of his desk, he closed the door and then began to pace behind his desk. "Now I have to say, when you first started sending in your requests for this job I found it extremely…unusual. Most of the time the Joker's sessions are simply forced on people who have the time to do it, no one's ever requested this job before. If any have, they've never done it with so much enthusiasm."

Harleen smiled, "What can I say? Extreme personalities fascinate me, I'm not intimated by them.

"Well your work here during your internship has surpassed my expectations so I have no choice but to believe you."

"When do I start?" Harleen asked with a smile spreading across her face.

"Right away" he said, "But I have to warn you, the Joker's not like any other inmate you have ever dealt with. He will sooner twist and break your mind than kill you and he's good at it."

"Well we'll just have to let him try won't we?" she said.

* * *

The next thing Harleen knew she was following one of the asylum's guards down a cell block towards the interrogation room. She gripped her notebook in her hand tightly, her heart beating quickly with anticipation.

Two other guards were standing outside a reinforced steel door. One of them stepped forward and asked for her ID. He took it and then typed into a keyboard that popped out under a screen beside the door.

"Okay, now you'll be able to get into this room at any time with just your ID."

"Thanks" Harleen said and with that they opened the door for her and stepped aside.

As she walked past them she saw that they were giving her strange looks, like they thought this was going to be the last time they saw her. " _Comforting…_ " she thought to herself.

She started walking down a short hallway that had another door at the end of it along with two more guards. "Do you have anything that could be used as a weapon on you?" One of the guards asked. Harleen did a quick check of her pockets and then shook her head. "Alright, you can go in then."

The door opened and as Harleen walked in she got her first look at the Joker. He was wearing the typical Arkham Asylum orange jumpsuit which had the number 0801 printed on the left side near the collar. What set him apart from the others, however, was the faded green hair and, of course, the scars. Harleen had known his face was heavily scarred from the news but without the makeup, the sight was even more horrendous.

The sight of the scars immediately made her feel overwhelming pity for him. Who could have done something like that to him? The memory of all the crimes he had committed slightly dampened her sympathy but a bit of it still remained. She couldn't help it, after all even the Joker had to have been a normal man once.

He looked up at her as she finished looking him over with a wide grin on his face, "Like what ya see dollface?"

Harleen cleared her throat, choosing to ignore the question, and sat across from him. "If you don't mind, I'd like to introduce myself. My name's Dr. Harleen Quinzel."

His face instantly lit up and he leaned forward like he was about to tell her a secret. "Harleen Quinzel?". He let out a loud laugh suddenly making Harleen jump. "Do you realize that with just a little reworking your name could be Harley Quinn?"

Harleen smiled, "Like the Italian clown? Very original, Mr. Joker."

"Mr. Joker?" he said with a frown, "I don't think I like that."

"Well I would be happy to call you by your last name, if you would tell me what it is."

He smirked, "Nice try sweet cheeks". He leaned back and drummed his fingers on the table. "But if you need to be official why don't you call me…Mr. J, I like the sound of that better."

"Alright, Mr. J it is then" Harleen said chuckling slightly. She pulled out her notebook. "So, Mr. J, what do you want to talk about?"

"Isn't that your job Doc? Or do I just make you so nervous you can't think of anything". He looked pleased with this idea.

Harleen smiled, "Do you like making people nervous, Mr. J?"

"There you go! Now that's a question for therapy, well done toots" he said clapping his hands together.

Harleen smiled and studied him for a second which made him grin even wider. "Are we having a staring contest?"

Harleen couldn't help but laugh at this. She hadn't expected what he said to actually be funny to her.

"You've got a sense of humor, I'll give you that dollface. So, tell me, what are you doing here interviewing me? Isn't that a little risky for a…rookie?" he ran his tongue over the scars inside his mouth, smiling at her like a cat playing with a mouse.

Harleen looked confused, "How did you know that?"

"What can I say, I know everything that goes on around here. Now, answer my question". The Joker grinned but the darkness in his eyes betrayed his sudden, menacing tone.

She chuckled, unfazed by this change "I thought I was supposed to be the one evaluating you."

"Just trying to get acquainted" the Joker said, "I mean, if we're gonna be spending _so_ much time together…" Harleen sighed and folded her hands in front of her, thinking it over. "Plus" Joker continued, "If I know more about you maybe I'd be willing to…hm I don't know, tell you more about me? The type of things you really want to know."

Harleen sat up a bit straighter, hearing this. Hadn't this been why she had wanted this job in the first place? The Joker was fascinating. If she could get him to open up, even a little, it would be well worth telling him a little about herself. She looked back up, "Well, alright. If I'm being honest, I wanted this job. I volunteered."

"Really" Joker said leaning forward in interest, "They think you're crazy right?"

"Well, sort of" Harleen said, "Why do you think that is?"

"They think that being my shrink might have made a few people a little…unhinged" he shrugged casually as if he was talking about what he was going to eat for breakfast.

"Are they right?"

"You're bound to go crazy if you stay here long enough. It's not my fault. If they're so, uh, weak-minded they should have worked at a normal hospital, not in this loony-bin" he winked at her, "I think you'll last though."

To her embarrassment, Harleen felt heat rise to her cheeks, "Why do you say that?"

"Like I said, you have a sense of humor."

Harleen smiled, "Surprisingly, so do you."

"Of course I do! Why do you think they call me the Joker?" he said pretending to be insulted. Then, he leaned back in his chair and grinned, "So, what do you want to know?"

Harleen flipped open her notebook, "Let's start with how you got those scars."

The Joker smirked and leaned forward, "I like the way you think doc."

They continued to talk until the hour was up and the guard came to tell her it was time to leave. As he lead her out Harleen saw the Joker wink at her as he said, "I'll see you tomorrow, Harley Quinn."

The sound of him using that name caused a huge grin to spread across her face. She hid it immediately so the guard wouldn't see it but the feeling that caused the smile didn't leave. She had a feeling that being the Joker's psychiatrist might just end up being the most interesting thing that ever happened to her.

* * *

Thank you for reading my lovelies! Don't forget to review :) xxsweetdreams


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